It’s a question.

What happens inside of me when I am asked a question ?

What happens inside of you when you are asking someone a question ?

Common belief is that questions are means to understand things better. Questions are celebrated part of enquiry, of curiosity, of learning. It seems to be true in case of things that have a definitive answer, an objective answer. Where is Kalpatru Joseh’s house ? is a different question. But what if someone asks – What kind of a person is Kalpatru Joseh ? Further what is someone asks Kalpatru Joseh herself, “What are you planning to do with your life ?” .

So, here is what I submit to you for consideration, Every question that has a non-objective answer emanates from violence in the questioner and will induce a certain truama in the questioned.

As education took over, knowledge gained the highest position in intellectual domain and fearful human beings wished to escape the fear of unknown, questions have gained an unusually powerful position and not answering them seems not an option. To not answer is rude, to not answer labels as you as “ignorant”, to not answer passes a judgment that you don’t want to engage.

I’ve been asked so many questions , so many times, by so many people and all I wanted to respond was – I don’t want to answer ! I don’t know the answer ! I don’t even want to know the answer ! Yet, I ended up giving them answer , that even won an applaud. I am sure this has happened to you too.

Have you ever wondered , what is a question ? when does the need arises to ask a question ? We are not talking of questions of science, mathematics or any other objective reality. We’ve already established a place for such questions. But in life, which is often largely subjective, what is the role of questions ?

Imagine two absolutely happy , peaceful soul. What question will they ask each other ? Will they even ask ?

Perhaps, we ask question when we are not at peace otherwise we simply remain silent and many times in that process, we become the answer.

I’ve felt quite bedazzled when someone asked me “What do you do ? ” because I don’t have an answer like I am a postman delivering post. In a world where a lot of us are chosing to walk out of mainstream definition of work and job, you’d have felt the predicament of answering such a question. It’s not that answer is complicated , it’s not that I don’t have an answer, its just that I don’t want to answer that question but when someone asks, especially an elder or someone with authority, you are supposed to answer.

It became more evident to me after I became a father. I realized how often others, and even I, ask children questions that they don’t want to answer but don’t have the option to refuse. “Who do you love more – mom or dad?” “Which fruit do you like more – mango or guava?” “Why are you crying?” “Why are you so cranky today?” The list is long.

Once a friend came to our farm , he asked my 4 yr old son, What life you like more – farm life or city life ? Now, imagine for a child whom that distinction doesn’t even exist, what would this question do to him ? It will force him to think in the same fragmented style, it will slowly overtime mold the child into our ways of thinking and approaching life. Isn’t this violence to some degree at least ?

Questioning involves violence but is often disguised by other positive emotions and thoughts. Did I raise a question in your mind ? I wonder how violent was I ?