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One thing that we all Hate !

Life has been kind enough to bestow me with insights and learnings that has helped me grow as a person, carry out my relationships better. One such recent learning has been about what we all human beings hate the most. Something that we all detest deeply. Something that is sure shot way to put someone off or even break a relation forever.

Any guesses ? Well, we have become so fragile and our relationships have become so shallow that the list may actually go quite long.

  • I hate being judged.
  • I hate being disrespected.
  • I hate being underestimated.
  • I hate being considered insufficient.
  • I hate being hated.
  • I hate being treated unfairly.
  • I hate when people consider me insignificant.
  • …and the list may go on for pages.

All of these are true but their root lies somewhere else. Hence , If I may submit to you –

What we hate most is – someone wanting us to change.

No brainer, I guess. Not worth all the build up , isn’t it ?

I wonder if it really comes out as an Eureka or a nudget of wisdom for you, but it certainly did so for me.

I saw what puts me off most of the times, I recollected why I gave up so many relations/ people in past, I remembered what did I say/do that created a deep hurt in the other. All the arrows led to one place.

“I hated people who wanted me to change.”

“People hated me / got hurt whenever I tried to change them.”

Ofcourse this is not true when we are open to change – consciously, which are rare daring moments in our lives. Most of the times, we all hold ourselves so high in our own minds, we are so rigid  that anyone’s demand for change (right or wrong is immaterial) is seen as a direct attack and we either react voilently or we simply take it as a hurt inside.

Almost a decade back, I asked a Zen master (Kenichi San) – What is love ? and his response appeared so ordinary that I was not at all impressed but it makes so much sense to me today.

He said, “Love is accepting the other , as she/he is.”

Acceptance is love. Seeking change in others is at least voilent – if not hate. Seeking change in ourselves is equally voilent. This is not to say that we don’t change, improve, overcome our devils or we must bear all the shit coming from others. Action has to be practically wise and need based but the emotion behind, the deep intent has to be of acceptance. To accept ourselves as we are, to accept others as they are is fundamental of love.

To impose or expect change is voilent, to accept is to be at peace. Surprisingly, acceptance is the best catalyst for change.

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Nourishing Children and Plants !

For a long time, I’ve been wondering what can we do to make this world a better place ? I’ve given it a lot of thought, experimented with many options and tried various paths. Finally, it seems it has just dawned on me. And I was looking for a complex equation while the answer came as a nobrainer – Children and Plants. If we can nourish children and plants , they both have power to nourish rest of the world.

Unfortunately, both children and plants are facing some of the toughest times. Scenrios today, systems today  are not very conducive to their growth. Infact, most of the systems in place are quite detrimental to both of them. In both of these , lies the future, the hope.

On one side harmful schooling, incomplete education and ineffective parenting is affecting our children badly while on the other side our so called development, chemical farming, industries are badly affecting our ecosystem.

I think the way forward is to nourish both of them otherwise we are writing our own suicide note.

How do we do that ? Well, many rays of hope are already emerging in form of natural farming, sustainable industries, eco-friendly lifestyles, child friendly learning and parenting methods. We need to support them , take care of them, fuel them so that we can nourish both our children and plants who’d then be able to heal our sickening planet and our bruised people.

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Reports from the Ground

I wonder if anyone is reading these blog posts or not. We are slowly slipping into oblivion for the world. Boy ! We all are so busy moving forward, running the rat race , finding the solution to our own personal problems – that we have no time at all to stop at look at what’s happening with others. It’s true for us as well. We are no exceptions. We are also so damn busy making our own lives better in this small piece of land.

Is it enough to be happy alone ? Can one be happy alone or is being together a precondition for happiness ?

What positive action can we take while living a simple life at the farm  ? Is it not a positive action in itself ?

Farm is growing in its own speed. Things are evolving, lots of new trees are up and alive. Cows have increased. Soil appears stronger, biodiversity looks better. Human relationships remain an issue. Why is it so difficult to work together, live together ?

The Madman’s farm as of 2018 September.

Nevertheless, we still sleep with a smile on our face at the end of the day. Our health and happiness is growing, no doubt – it’s not as rosy as it appears to others. Most importantly, we do get a feel that we are definitely living a real life and this journey is so much worth. Every pain, every learning, every day is just such a blessing that we can’t be more grateful. 🙂

 

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Am I dead ? – No, I’ve gone Lazy !

I am sure when you come to farm’s website and see now new updates on timeline, no new posts, no new event announcements  – you may wonder, if we are dead already !

Well, farm is up. We are still living here. Our experiments and explorations are On , it’s just that we have become too lazy to come over the net, write an article about something. When we began years back, sharing our story was an important aspect of our lives. I would regularly take out time to update website and send updates. In fact, I almost rolled out a quarterly newsletter at one stage.  But things change, farm changed, I changed.

I slowly started seeing futility of the exercise. I was no longer moved by accolades that I would receive for the work we are doing. I was no longer depressed by strong criticism. To be here, to walk into forest, to spend time with my wife and my child, to water the plants, to spot a new bird, to escape a scorpion bite – such tiny things appear enough.

I no longer enjoyed receiving guests who would ask the same questions, throw back same compliments and then go back to their same old life. They’d talk great things about us, their own lives untouched. It makes me lose the very motivation to put efforts in spreading the word about what we are doing and justify our lifestyles. So, slowly I’ve stopped doing almost everything.

So, yes you can say – I’ve grown lazy. I’ve grown little indifferent. I’ve grown little cynical. I am just happy that I am growing.

Looking forward to seeing you at farm someday. We still await and cherish guests who can relate to true spirit of this place, of this journey. Come….

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A madman from the Himalayas

We had a very unusual get together at our farm recently. A hindu saint from Himalayas was invited to our farm along with his few friends who delivered a small discourse and stayed overnight. People from nearby villages were also invited. Interestingly this was the first time we had so many villagers visiting us in 5 years !

Satsang at the Madmans farm

Swami Nityanand Giri Ji is a hindu saint who lives in Kailash Ashram nea Rishikesh. He was a direct disciple of Swami Shri Ramsukhdas Ji Maharaj ( Who is one of the main author of many books published by Geeta Press, Gorakhpur).

With Asharams, Ram-Raheems and Nirmal Babas leading the Saint fraternity…I frankly had little hope in anyone with orange cloths! However, i just happen to meet Nitryanand Ji in a religious event in a nearby village and could clearly see in just few minutes of his talks and behavior that he is not the same team. He belonged to the group – which includes very few saints who are trying to maintain the santicity of orange cloths.

He was with Central government working in Delhi before he decided to dedicate his life to inner search. He is far from money. Doesn’t take money for anything and a sincere celibate. What I like most about him is – he walks his talks ! Whatever he teaches others – he himself does it sincerely.

Swami Nityanand Giri Ji (Left) with a fellow Sanyassi

Nevertheless, It was a very differnt kind of joy to have all these saints here and talk about Law of karma, social situations today and various other questions till late night of wintery January. It was a celeberation of a different kind. What also astonished us was the deep faith that people still have in religion and how it has power to bind people. People who were enemies to each other , came and sat in the same area on this night !

There was so much I learnt …so much I enjoyed….I am just so grateful to all the saints and all the people who came !

I’ll end it with one of the quotes by Shri Ramsukhdas ji Maharaj –

God has full responsiblity for your needs and has no responsiblity for your wants. So, worry not about your needs, they’ll be met. and Worry not about your wants – for they will never be met. Just don’t worry and live every moment in Joy,

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Tedx Talk – Living your Own Life

Frankly, this talk was not very well prepared and hence I do not consider it as a worthy talk. Also, it was long since I spoke in public – so my language, my speech all went for a toss. Infact, I missed many of my core points (like impact of media on our choices). I forgot some of my examples. Infact, after the speech I think I left audience more confused than clear.

One of the listener comes to me and says, ” So, what do you do now ? ” and I was like …damn…did I really mess up my speech !

Nevertheless, here is the talk anyway. I enjoyed the whole process. From trying to think of one idea worth spreading from your life to actually speaking it out. It was a good instrospective exercise.