I’ve often wondered why death which is the most present phenomena in our lives, in our world – is almost absent from our every day life. It’s absent from our family conversations, its absent from our education system, its absent from our social media world ! If at all death becomes part, its often the sensitized version of it.

Death , just as a natural phenomenon , like a general topic to be thought about, discussed – is absent. Perhaps because we all don’t want to die and due to the fear we avoid it to the maximum extent possible. Yet, only when we embrace death , accept it’s role and presence in our lives that we truly are able to live meaningfully. A life devoid of death is incomplete, unreal and illusionary. (Perhaps !)

Perhaps, this is why , death also embraced me this year. Deepa , our farm angel along with her friend Ishita came up with a brilliant idea of “The death project” which in their own words is something like this–

“We are curating 100+ questions which can be conversation starters on death and taboos around it. These questions are intended to invite people to reflect deeply so that it may inspire some people to alter their path to live well so that they can die well.  – “

We are working on it and you will hear more about this project soon.

We have been long discussing and planning an online venture called the last page, which is death centric social media platform. This one is stuck as its capital intensive project, but hopefully this may also kick off soon.

We also plan to host this year’s winter gathering around death. Madman’s farm has been a pause space so far and death perhaps is nothing but a deeper pause.

I also wish to announce that Madman’s farm is also witnessing death of it’s own. We feel the old has done what it has to and it’s time for a new beginning. Moving ahead the place, the plan, the approach will witness some changes. We have decided to now take abode in the name “Sadhna Path” and let go of the older name – the madman’s farm. This decision has slowly collectively evolved over time. Over next few years , you’d see the death of Madman’s farm as we knew it and birth of Sadhna path, a new beginning.

I’d like to end this blog with a personal incident around death,

I was working on laptop and my younger son Vishu came and said let’s go and sleep , I said give me ten minutes and then I will go up. (We sleep on first floor) Go up ? Vishu exclaimed and looked a bit tense.

I asked what happened ? He continued to look little puzzled. Ah ! I said up mean first floor not the sky. ( We usually say upar chale gaye as reference to death).

He whispered slowly, ” mujhe laga woh wala upar” , he somehow thought I was talking of my death.

I said no no , don’t worry I won’t die that early, may be after another 10-15 years.

To which he responded, no not 10 , 10 million thousand years ke baad. ( Whatever greatest number he could say).

I said, well no one lives that long. I will have to die early. But don’t worry I will only die once you grow up to a strong and responsible man.

He simply said No and walked away. I thought the casual talk was over and I continued my work on laptop.

Few minutes later he comes , says nothing shoves my laptop to side , hugs me and hangs from my neck , holding me closely. I just thought he is sleepy as it’s late.

I continued to work as he is wrapped around my chest. I tell him to give me some space as I cannot operate keyboard this way.

He simply looked at me and in an intense voice asked ” Aap kyu mar rahe ho ?” (Why are you dying?)

At this point I realized something deeper has been triggered, I shut down my laptop, held him in my arms and reassured him , okay m not dying so early, but we all have to die someday.

To which he simply responded with a pause in a very serious tone ,” mujhe apke sath rehna hai ! ” .(I wanna be with you..)

We both were with tears in our eyes now , after a long pause I said, Okay, don’t worry we will request to the God of death and ask us to keep together even after death. okay ?

He simply nodded , there was silence of few minutes as he hears my heartbeat wrapped around my chest and I brush gently through his hairs , soon he fell asleep in my arms in the same position. The laptop was next to me and I could capture this moment in photo as well.

“Death is not the end, but the beginning of a new life. Yes, it is an end of something that is already dead. It is also a crescendo of what we call life, although very few know what life is. They live, but they live in such ignorance that they never encounter their own life. And it is impossible for these people to know their own death, because death is the ultimate experience of this life, and the beginning experience of another. Death is the door between two lives; one is left behind, one is waiting ahead.” – Osho