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Laddakh Echoes #2 (Education and Learning)

#1 of Doctors, Teachers …and Tom Dick and Harry

One of my dear friend, mentor and renowned professor of mathematics, Dr Gananath used to ask a very relevant question which stayed with me. He used to ask, would you allow someone with a very rudimentary understanding of human body and diseases or someone who has read some books on medicine or attended few workshops and trainings on human anatomy to conduct a surgery on your body ? No, ofcourse not. You would not allow your life, your health in the hands on someone who doesn’t really deeply understand human body and has good solid practice of taking care of human body.

Why , then, we allow just about anyone to open a school and let them conduct a cognitive surgery on our children? Today actors have opened schools, engineers have, doctors have, singers , NRIs, NGOs, IT retired professionals, politicians, criminals, corporates and companies – they all have schools….Everyone just assumes that they understand education better the rest of people and are well versed to intervene into lives our young mind. For some of them it might be a lucrative and respect gaining business, for others it’s their “good” contribution to the society. People with best intentions, end up doing the most damage when one lacks depth of understanding, experience and life.
Don’t you think we should be more demanding of qualification ( not certificates) and capabilities before allowing anyone to start a school i.e. an operation on most vulnerable members of our society?

#2 We really don’t know what is a child…

Unless we truly know what is a child? How a child learns , can we really imagine or create a learning space for them ?

If often ask the stalwarts and experts two fundamental questions that one should explore before getting into education –

  1. What is a child ?
  2. What is learning ?

Sadly, I am yet to get a genuine enquiry into these, forget about the answer. All one throws back are bookish, whimsical responses.

People often also mislead a conversation stating modern fashion theorems like – It’s different for each, there cannot be one single definition for all etc.. These narratives of false plurality often simple are excuses and escapes because one doesn’t have deeper understanding or a fair response.

Being exposed to farming, I was able to draw a beautiful parallel. Just like in farming, there cannot be universal guide yet there are some fundamental rules of nature that apply everywhere. For instance, soil health, aligning to natural cycle, right amount of water etc.. one can definitely carve out nature’s law that apply universally, which then needs to be customized locally.

Thus, just like farming, learning has to be contextual and only then it can be sustainable and effective. What will grow here and how will it be grown will be dictated by the context which would involve soil type, people skills, weather, available resources, water etc.

Similarly, growing children, would need to take the context into account and this is why contextual education is important. De- contextual education not only disconnects children from their communities and surroundings but also creates an identity crisis and complexes like inferiority complex or false ambitions.

Is there someone bothered about finding out those natural processes of learning and development before opening next generation school or drafting national education policy ?

#3 Basic of opening a school ?

Opening a new school amidst the popular and cool sounding critique of Macaulay , British enforced mainstream education system is becoming quite common. Engineers who quit corporate life, NRIs who chose to come back , Bright award winning activists, New generation Spiritual Guru’s and their fervent disciples , CSR Fund loaded NGOs – all come forward and open a celebrated school that is sure to attract headlines and may be even win several awards.

The pedagogy, processes and objectives of these schools is either governed by the thoughts of leader or philosophy of a group. What we all tend to miss is to ask this fundamental question – ” What should be the basic of opening a school ?” Is it fair to open a school because I think so and I have had so and so experiences and I have also read so and so….
Is it fair to open a school based on ideas of a celebrated social, religious or spiritual leader ?

It’s definitely easy to do it which is why this is what we see in most places but is it fair is a question that we still need to wonder about!

#4 Some more questions to end with….

What is learning?
What is teaching?
What are age specific needs of a child?
Are these needs universal or different for different child ?
How does an Indian child differ from western child? (if at all)
What is the best time to –

  • introduce language (written and reading)
  • introduce tech / mobile / screens
  • introduce abstract concepts
  • introduce??? (other key subjects , arts, skills ? )

What should be the basis of these answers? Western research, Indigenous wisdom , both , none or something else ?
How do children learn or acquire values ?
What could be possible causes of violent or unacceptable behavior of children, what or how much can a school do about it ?

Well the questions are endless and only someone with an spirit of enquiry will be interested, others already have answers.

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Laddakh Echoes… #1

We (me, Priyambada and children) were in Laddakh recently. I was part of their teachers fellow program which was a prelude to their upcoming K-12 school – Desert Flower. Unfortunately, just couple of days after we reached their , the Leh Voilence and arrest of Sonam Ji happened. The school, insitute and most of their programs were affected. We were suggested to leave looking at the seriousness of the situation and how things were unfolding. The program got cancelled and Desert flower was also put on hold. We were there for around 20 days. The trip was full of lot of learnings, experiences and reflections. Internet was blocked , so I used to make short notes on some of the topics that touched me. I am sharing some of those notes as micro-blog here in two parts – one is a mix of various topics , the next one I will publish soon that is more focused on “schooling and education.”. Do share your comments, thoughts and feelings if you feel like it. Thank you for still visiting blogs in the world of reels. 😉

#1 : Fighting Devils in Kaliyug (Witten on the day of arrest of Sonam Ji)

When power packed maniacs rule the world and the system becomes unjust , people around us getting affected. The problems are no longer limited to newspaper or insta feeds but becomes a tale of the town or even an incident next door. Anyone sensitive, would get perturbed. Anyone bold and courageous would feel the angst and urgent need to act. But soon feel helpless because when the fields are not levelled , fighting the forces is almost suicidal. With too much power on one side, entire system, police, military, judiciary on one side and few individuals with a meek voice of truth on the other, it becomes a dangerous battle where often there will severe losses for marginal gains. But then , what can one, who refuses to turn a blind eye to what’s happening, do ?

I remember one of my professors at MICA , someone I used to look forward for his intelligent advice, told me something very interesting when I was rebelling against the education system there, he said something like this – “Rebelling these days is not an intelligent response, to bring about change one rather needs to device a strategy.”

To fight with the right is the duty and sign of a responsible human being. To die for it is also unregretable. However, one must also not let the evil forces take away the life, peace of one’s life so easily, so cheaply.

Perhaps, a more intelligent response would be to fight at another plane where things are more level. Directly fighting the evil forces in modern times may be foolish but newer, indirect ways will surely turn effective over a period of time. The times of revolutions are over while the times of quite silent revolution are here. Team up with the natural forces, the ones who don’t talk but act at right time and right way to re-establish Dharma. Rest assured, Truth prevails, Dharma is victorious in the end.

#2 Helpless ( Evening time…)

I am siting in corner of the dining hall and looking at both of my son’s smiling, playing , laughing. My heart sinks when I wonder how long can one preserve these innocent smiles ? The world out there is getting difficult, most schools and most adults don’t know how to care for or love children. The entire system is becoming very difficult to deal with. It’s becoming so difficult to remain loving and hurt-less. As a guardian of these two little angels , I feel incapable and helpless. What am I to do ? 😦

#3 Beautiful Indus and Ugly Waste

The other day we went to a beach next to Indus river in Laddakh and like it’s common, we found the footprints of human beings – left over plastic bottles, plastic wrappers, shoes etc. I was tempted to pick it up and clean the area , so I gathered the visible bottles and waste and got them back to a waste management center at SECMOL. My children were watching me do all this as they were playing with the sand and stones building a mansion, a dam etc. I didn’t say anything, just collected and came back with them.

Next day we went again and I thought lemme just go a further this time towards a more peaceful spot. I sat little further away from children who were busy building something new and interesting today. Few minutes later , my younger one spotted me sitting a little further from their play area so he started coming towards me. As he walked towards me,I saw him stop and do something. He was collecting all the plastic bottles that he found on the way. By the time he reached me , his small hands were full of plastic waste , hardly able to hold so many with support of his tummy. He came close and looked at me and right in front of our eyes , we both saw a huge dump of plastic bottles. Hundreds of them scattered all over. Difficult for few individuals to really collect and clean. He dropped all the bottles right at the sand and laughed and said ” idhar to bahut sari hai, lekin udhar kam thi” . ( So many bottles here, but there were few there). He went back to play soon. I continued sitting alone by the Indus river looking at the scattered piles of water bottles and various other human waste, wondering what should I do now ?

#4 Hopeful ( next day of arrest, confirmed death of 4 innocent youth)

The more depressed I become ,the more frustrated I become , the more desperately I plead for answers and solutions to complex current problems, I am left with one and only possible hope. Feeble and vague but I got no other hope. It’s to surrender to God and live life of Dharma. Leave all the problems and solutions to the almighty, let go of power we feel we have to bring about change. Let’s just trust that life will take care of itself. All that lies in our hand is to live a life as per Dharma. Dharma , may mean different things to different people but it’s core remains universal – no intentional hurt or pain to any living being , less and less of self gratification, more and more of serving the others.


At the end, I am reminded of a something really beautiful that is gonna stay with me for long. It was a Ms. Thukjay che , an old lady I met at SECMOL (their older institute, one Sonam Ji started almost 25 years back) who was music teacher (of Laddakhi folk songs) there. She was almost blind but somehow managed to take care of herself with whatever little vision she had. She was sitting right next to Kale* Sonam Wanchuk (*Kale is respectful prefix used in Laddakh for certain eminent individuals, most people used to refer Sonam Ji as just Kale), when the violence happened. She has heard the sound of the gun shots. Later, she was rescued and brought to SECMOL. What happened has had a deep impact on her. She shared that she clearly could hear the shots and was terrified. Her warmth is what touched us most. She was so warm with everyone. She would come sit with anyone , known or stranger and strike a conversation. She would gently touch , hug and giggle. Once in a while, when the talks are over or paused , she would start singing some beautiful melody in Laddkahi. It was such a sweet music to ears. Just before leaving , I happen to ask her – What is that song you keep singing ? She said , the song is titled – “What has happened to my beloved land – Laddakh ? – what will happen to my Laddakh ?” And do you know her name , Thukjay chay mean ? It’s Thank you in Laddkahi.

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What’s the improvement !!? (by Pasha)

Pushpendra aka Pasha – writes (which itself is a rare event 😉 ) about his journey at farm’s learning center. While it’s a long story and I’d someday write a blog myself on what presence of pasha means to farm and the learning center, but for now just dive into his witty, humorous yet intense piece of writing. For those who cannot read Hindi , try the AI summary at the end or just google translate 😉 – Shashi )

Its been two years… shifting the gears…

Zarrra sa courage and so much fear…

of what ?…I don’t know….

where to go…. fly high or rest in low…

With lots of laughs and do-chaar tears…

Oh my goddess…its been two years…..

So… what’s the improvement ?


ऐसा लोग पूछते हैं कभी कभी… मेरे लिए नहीं बच्चों के लिए… लर्निंग सेंटर के…, लर्निंग सेंटर तो पता है ना… वो फ़ार्म एंट्री पे बड़ी सी बिल्डिंग… अभी मैं चला रहा हूँ उसको दो साल से जैसे-तैसे… बाय द वे… मैं पुष्पेंद्र हूँ (सॉरी… इस ब्लॉग में शशि नहीं है… 😁… झेलो)…

हाँ तो लर्निंग सेंटर… और इम्प्रूवमेंट!!… तो पहले तो मैंने ही क्रॉस क्वेश्चन किया कि इम्प्रूवमेंट मतलब क्या?… तभी तो बात हो पाएगी ना कि वो हुआ या नहीं… वैसे तो हम भी इम्प्रूवमेंट वाले कॉन्सेप्ट से आए थे इधर… हीरो टाइप बनकर… स्वदेश मूवी के शाहरुख़ ख़ान टाइप्स… कि गाँव के बच्चों को पढ़ाएंगे… आगे बढ़ाएंगे… कुछ बड़ी-बड़ी एजुकेशन की थ्योरीज़ की बातें तो यहाँ चल ही रही थीं पहले से… ओशो, कृष्णमूर्ति, अल्टरनेटिव, होमस्कूलिंग, जिनान… और पता नहीं क्या क्या… और हम भी रहे फिलोसोफर की पूँछ… पर इधर के बच्चों ने ऐसी क्लास ली… कि सब अपना गुड़-गोबर हो गया… ऑर्गेनिक वाला…

वैसे ऑर्गेनिक से याद आया कि लर्निंग सेंटर जिन लोगों ने ऐक्चुअली स्टार्ट किया था वो सब निकल लिए जब मैं आया… यहाँ तक कि शशि भैया भी… बोले कि तुम देख लो अब जो करना है, हम तो चले… तो मैं तो अकेला फँस गया… अपने को कोई एक्सपीरियंस ही नहीं… हमने कुछ किया ही नहीं ज़िंदगी में आराम के अलावा… तो मैंने कहा उनसे कि अब तो जो ‘ऑर्गैनिकली’ होगा वो होता जाएगा…



हाँ तो धीरे-धीरे थ्योरीज़, आइडियाज़, डिस्कशन वगैरह-वगैरह सब फ़ेल होते गए… पास कहाँ से होते, हम खुद ही एक फ़ेल हैं लाइफ़ में… ऊपर से आलसी… पास हो भी जाएँ तो अप्लाई कौन करे…

तो अब क्या?… कुछ नहीं… स्टोरी ख़त्म…? नहीं जी, असली बात तो करनी बाक़ी है… पर वो भी कर पाएँगे या नहीं… कोई भरोसा नहीं… ये तो भूमिका थी…

हाँ तो चूँकि अब बच्चों ने हमें हीरो से ज़ीरो कर दिया… तो अब मेरे लिए सवाल ये नहीं है कि what’s the improvement… और I really do not care… अब सवाल ये है कि what is improvement… for a child to become an adult?… मैथ्स, साइंस, इंग्लिश, डांस, म्यूज़िक, स्पोर्ट्स, गेमिंग, पेंटिंग, नेचर, फार्मिंग, कुकिंग, एक्टिविटी, ट्रैवेलिंग, फ़िलॉसफ़ी, स्पिरिचुअलिटी, स्किल, नॉलेज, हेल्थ, जॉब, बिज़नेस, एन्त्रप्रेन्योरशिप, सोशल वर्क, राइट, लेफ़्ट, पैट्रियॉटिज़्म, एथिक्स, वैल्यूज़, रिलिजन, मेनस्ट्रीम, अल्टरनेटिव, स्कूलिंग, नॉन-स्कूलिंग, होमस्कूलिंग… आदि आदि… थक गया यार लिखते-लिखते… ये सब तो ऐसा है कि ज़बरदस्ती दुनिया सिखा ही देती है… चाहो या न चाहो… तो क्या ये कोई इम्प्रूवमेंट है एक इंसान के लिए?…

एक्चुअली मुझे नहीं पता… हो भी सकता है… मुझे भी लगता था कि खूब सारा एक्सपीरियंस होना, खूब सारा ज्ञान होना… एकदम महागुरु टाइप्स… बड़ी-बड़ी दाढ़ी वाला… या फिर कोई मैड साइंटिस्ट होना, या कोई फ़ेमस सेलिब्रिटी होना… या कोई बहुत बड़ा समाज सुधारक होना, लीडर टाइप्स… या “हम दो हमारे दो” और वो… वो यानी सरकारी नौकरी… ये सब होता होगा इम्प्रूवमेंट एक इंसान होने के नाते…



पर ये बच्चे… ये आदिवासी बच्चे… ये जंगल में रहने वाले बच्चे… इनको देखते-देखते तो ऐसा लगने लगा है कि कहीं किसी इम्प्रूवमेंट की ज़रूरत ही नहीं है… अगर सब ऐसे ही हो जाएँ (हाँ हाँ ये स्टेटमेंट थोड़ा ज़्यादा हो गया… ऐसा तो कैसे हो सकता है)… और नेचर अपने-आप सिखाए जा रही है… जो भी जीने के लिए ज़रूरी है… किसी को प्यार से… किसी को मार-मार के…और बहुत कुछ फ़ालतू भी सिखाए जा रही है… जो कचरे जैसा भरा रहता है अंदर… पता ही नहीं चलता ज़िंदगी भर कि इसका क्या करना है… पता नहीं नेचर को भी क्या मज़ा आ रहा है…

और फिर ऊपर से इंसान… इसको लग रहा है कि सब अज्ञानी हैं, मूर्ख हैं, सबको पढ़ाओ, डंडा मार-मार के… वैसे मैं सोचता हूँ ज़्यादातर सो-कॉल्ड पढ़ाई-लिखाई तो इंसान के असुरक्षा के भाव को और तृष्णा को भरने के लिए ही काम कर रही है… जो शायद कभी भरने नहीं वाले…

और ये तो कोई रॉकेट साइंस नहीं, ये जीवन की एक सामान्य-सी अंडरस्टैंडिंग है… इसके लिए कोई डिग्री लेने की या हिमालय पे जाने की ज़रूरत तो है नहीं… तो पता नहीं लोग क्यों छोटे-छोटे बच्चों को बैल बनाए जा रहे हैं… मेरा “पता नहीं” मतलब सच में “पता नहीं” ही है… हो सकता है नेचर भी चाहती हो सबको बैल ही बनाना…

एनीवे, हो सकता है वही सही हो जो मेनस्ट्रीम में हो रहा है… या हो सकता है… वो सही है जो अभी साइडस्ट्रीम्स में हो रहा है… या वो जो अभी हो ही नहीं रहा… या तो पास्ट में है या फ़्यूचर में या किसी बड़े ज्ञानी के दिमाग़ में… पता नहीं…

और “पता नहीं” का मतलब सच में “पता नहीं”… वो क्या है जो मैं देख रहा हूँ होते हुए… और जो अनुभव कर रहा हूँ इन बच्चों के साथ दो साल से… बताना तो बहुत ही ज़्यादा कठिन है…



पर जो कर्म के माध्यम से करता हुआ दिखाई दे रहा हूँ… वो है बहुत थोड़ी-सी पढ़ाई-लिखाई… हाँ वही मेनस्ट्रीम वाली… थोड़ा-सा खेलकूद… थोड़ा-सा नाचना-गाना, खाना-पीना, घूमना-फिरना आदि आदि… और बहुत सारी बातें…

अब तो कौन सिखाने वाला है और कौन सीखने वाला है… मुझे पता ही नहीं… और “पता नहीं” मतलब सच में पता नहीं… एक बरसाती झरने के जैसा बह रहा है सब कुछ… कभी-कभी सोचता हूँ इसका नाम “मस्ती सेंटर” रख दूँ… पर सुनने में “लर्निंग सेंटर” अच्छा लगता है… आखिर बाहर के लोगों को धोखे में भी तो रखना है… (वैसे सबको पता ही है)…

अब ये कोई सच में नेचर का एक्सपेरिमेंट हो या बस मेरा एक टाइमपास… मुझे पता नहीं… हमने जो अनुभव किया साथ में, मेरे लिए तो वही हमारा इम्प्रूवमेंट है… शायद कभी जीवन में काम आए या शायद नहीं भी… जैसे कोई दोस्त ज़िंदगी में बनता है गहरा और कुछ समय साथ रहता है… वो क्या इम्प्रूवमेंट कर जाता है हमारे भीतर या नहीं भी करता… पर कुछ तो कर जाता है हर एक अच्छा दोस्त… बस वैसा ही कुछ…

ख़ैर मैं तो नहीं पता कर पाया, न बता पाया कि what is ‘improvement’… अगर किसी को पता हो तो प्लीज़ बता देना… मुझे नहीं… जो पूछे कि what’s the improvement… I really care no more… बस इतना ही कह सकता हूँ… थर्मामीटर से दूध का वज़न कैसे नाप दूँ?



(ध्यान से देखिए इसे… यही है वो आदमी जिसने ये सब रायता फैलाया है… इससे बचके रहना, नहीं तो ये आपको भी अपनी गाड़ी पर कहीं-ना-कहीं तो बिठा ही लेगा… भले ही गाड़ी पर जगह ही ना हो.. ;-))

PS: – वैसे हर तीन-चार महीने में लगने लगता है कि अब तो ख़त्म कहानी लर्निंग सेंटर की… पर बहुत खिंच गई गाड़ी… तो और आगे देखते हैं कहाँ तक जाती है… well it’s been two years…. ;-D


(लास्ट में ये एक और इमोजी… पीले रंग वाला)

अरे यार… इतना लिखने के बाद भी मैं नहीं लिख पाया ढंग से… साला ए.आई. ने कॉन्क्लूड कर दिया उससे भी अच्छा… ये देखो… (AI Summary)…


The author, Pushpendra, reflects on two years of running a learning center, initially questioning the concept of “improvement.” He describes how his initial “hero-like” approach to educating rural children was challenged by the children themselves, leading him to abandon many educational theories. He inherited the learning center when the original founders left. He now questions what “improvement” truly means, as the children, through nature, seem to learn what’s necessary for life without formal education. He feels that much of conventional learning serves human desires and insecurities that are never fulfilled. He now focuses on a mix of mainstream education, play, activities, and conversations, blurring the lines between teacher and student. He concludes that their shared experiences are their “improvement,” even if their purpose isn’t immediately clear, and he no longer cares about what others define as improvement. He also mentions the learning center’s continued existence despite periodic thoughts of its end.

-Pushpendra aka Pasha – 16 August 2025 

1

Death is the new beginning !

I’ve often wondered why death which is the most present phenomena in our lives, in our world – is almost absent from our every day life. It’s absent from our family conversations, its absent from our education system, its absent from our social media world ! If at all death becomes part, its often the sensitized version of it.

Death , just as a natural phenomenon , like a general topic to be thought about, discussed – is absent. Perhaps because we all don’t want to die and due to the fear we avoid it to the maximum extent possible. Yet, only when we embrace death , accept it’s role and presence in our lives that we truly are able to live meaningfully. A life devoid of death is incomplete, unreal and illusionary. (Perhaps !)

Perhaps, this is why , death also embraced me this year. Deepa , our farm angel along with her friend Ishita came up with a brilliant idea of “The death project” which in their own words is something like this

“We are curating 100+ questions which can be conversation starters on death and taboos around it. These questions are intended to invite people to reflect deeply so that it may inspire some people to alter their path to live well so that they can die well.  – “

We are working on it and you will hear more about this project soon.

We have been long discussing and planning an online venture called the last page, which is death centric social media platform. This one is stuck as its capital intensive project, but hopefully this may also kick off soon.

We also plan to host this year’s winter gathering around death. Madman’s farm has been a pause space so far and death perhaps is nothing but a deeper pause.

I also wish to announce that Madman’s farm is also witnessing death of it’s own. We feel the old has done what it has to and it’s time for a new beginning. Moving ahead the place, the plan, the approach will witness some changes. We have decided to now take abode in the name “Sadhna Path” and let go of the older name – the madman’s farm. This decision has slowly collectively evolved over time. Over next few years , you’d see the death of Madman’s farm as we knew it and birth of Sadhna path, a new beginning.

I’d like to end this blog with a personal incident around death,

I was working on laptop and my younger son Vishu came and said let’s go and sleep , I said give me ten minutes and then I will go up. (We sleep on first floor) Go up ? Vishu exclaimed and looked a bit tense.

I asked what happened ? He continued to look little puzzled. Ah ! I said up mean first floor not the sky. ( We usually say upar chale gaye as reference to death).

He whispered slowly, ” mujhe laga woh wala upar” , he somehow thought I was talking of my death.

I said no no , don’t worry I won’t die that early, may be after another 10-15 years.

To which he responded, no not 10 , 10 million thousand years ke baad. ( Whatever greatest number he could say).

I said, well no one lives that long. I will have to die early. But don’t worry I will only die once you grow up to a strong and responsible man.

He simply said No and walked away. I thought the casual talk was over and I continued my work on laptop.

Few minutes later he comes , says nothing shoves my laptop to side , hugs me and hangs from my neck , holding me closely. I just thought he is sleepy as it’s late.

I continued to work as he is wrapped around my chest. I tell him to give me some space as I cannot operate keyboard this way.

He simply looked at me and in an intense voice asked ” Aap kyu mar rahe ho ?” (Why are you dying?)

At this point I realized something deeper has been triggered, I shut down my laptop, held him in my arms and reassured him , okay m not dying so early, but we all have to die someday.

To which he simply responded with a pause in a very serious tone ,” mujhe apke sath rehna hai ! ” .(I wanna be with you..)

We both were with tears in our eyes now , after a long pause I said, Okay, don’t worry we will request to the God of death and ask us to keep together even after death. okay ?

He simply nodded , there was silence of few minutes as he hears my heartbeat wrapped around my chest and I brush gently through his hairs , soon he fell asleep in my arms in the same position. The laptop was next to me and I could capture this moment in photo as well.

“Death is not the end, but the beginning of a new life. Yes, it is an end of something that is already dead. It is also a crescendo of what we call life, although very few know what life is. They live, but they live in such ignorance that they never encounter their own life. And it is impossible for these people to know their own death, because death is the ultimate experience of this life, and the beginning experience of another. Death is the door between two lives; one is left behind, one is waiting ahead.” – Osho
2

Whatever I do, I am still a monkey !

I recently made a wonderful month long trip to Sikkim Himalayas exploring some place and spending majority of the time with Himalayan Mountaineering Institute , doing their BMC (Basic Mountaineering course). It was a lovely experience, adventurous, challenging, joyful , exciting , painful , discomforting and enthralling – all at the same time. The common question I was asked for almost few dozens of times – Why are you doing this ? What’s the need ? What happens after this ? – etc…

My parents, my wife’s parents , a lot of my friends, my colleagues at HMI and even our chief instructor – were all puzzled. This is how the conversations went –

So, what do you do – “Well I am into organic farming ? ” – Oh nice !

So, why mountaineering ? – ” Well because …..******** ”

* here I gave different reasons to different people depending on what would satisfy them the most.

However, to me it was truly a pause from pause. Life at my farm is already a pause from the regular life and this was a further deeper pause. Also, I have felt that doing things that you don’t normally do , challenging yourself , pushing your limits , doing things that you don’t really want to do – it all is always a learning experience and an opportunity for growth. Add to it the fun, friendship, food and Himalayas – it was a perfect break from me.

The one learning that keeps getting deeper with each trip that I make to mountains or to a country abroad or to some secret island – I am absent , not fully present to life. Thus, it makes no point where I go, I largely miss life and that place. When I am really present, the whole universe is right here and now with me and I need not go anywhere for any experience. Why am I mostly absent ? How do I really be present to life, totally , absolutely ?

0

The biggest secret loss of Screens !

Well, the first thing that needs addressing …. !

How fair is it to criticize the food that we are eating ? Or say a car that we are driving ?

How fair is it to criticize screens through screens ? 😉

Funny , I agree.

Ironical , I agree. but

Unfair ? I disagree.

The same logic has been put almost as a gun against the ‘ educated’ who criticize education system. Well, there is a very thin line between fair and unfair and I am not taking the responsibility to draw that line.

Screens, are being criticized left, right and center. Even those reel and series addicts would in principle agree to the criticism. It’s like how sitting in a pub with a friend of mine, we used to spend hours criticizing alcohol and smoking, with a cigarette in one hand and beer in another. Again, fair ? not fair ?

We can criticize the same thing for different reasons ,and perhaps what we criticize for makes it fair or unfair not just the criticism per se.

I remember during the farmer’s protest sometime back, a lot of my friends were expecting me to support the protest or were just curious to what I think of the protest, whose side am I? ! While I was on farmer’s side, I did not stood for protest, because they were fighting a war, in which according to me , winning was no good than losing. What the farmers were demanding was like asking for a good meal while a Tsunami is impending. Even if government gave them the meal, the tsunami that awaits will render everything meaningless.

I was with them in spirit but not with them in cause. I wonder why farmers do not protest equally strong knowing that Punjab is a cancer capital now ? I wonder why we don’t protest when recently a report found 10 carcinogens in bloods of farmers of Telangana , way beyond permissible limit ? I wonder why farmers don’t protest for the dying soil , polluted rivers and disappearing biodiversity ? – with the same intensity as we did against the farmers act of Indian government !

Fuh, sorry the farmer side of me got activated. Back to the subject – screens.

The same logic holds true for screens. While we are fighting screens, passing sanctions on screen time, creating apps to monitor usage and then going to screen detox camps – the core damages of screens are not discussed, understood or talked about. Of course, screens damage the eye-sights, but so does books. Of course , screens reduce attention span, so does the period system in schools. We are not fighting screen for the deeper damages its causing.

One such damage I would like to bring to your notice is “ theft of time” . Obvious , right ?! You must be little disappointed perhaps for all this build up just to arrive at such an obvious revelation. Of course, screen time , takes away our time. What’s the news here ?

Well the news is in – the gravity or seriousness of the issue. Loss of time inflicts a deeper damage than meets the eyes. If we lose time ,we lose everything.

It requires time to fall in love, to look into the eyes of your beloved, to hold hands of your children or dying parents. – Pressed for time, we will lose opportunity for all of it.

It requires time to look at the 6 year old walking barefoot at the traffic light selling newspapers and feel something about it. – We become cold when time is made to move fast.

It requires time to see our own feelings, to understand our own wrong doing and right doings ! – We become insensitive and robot like, in shortage of time.

It requires time to allow oneself to feel the pain and the joy – that leads to changes, greatest inventions and enlightenment of human beings ! – We truly cease to be human when time is snatched away from us.

Already the modern life is so fast and we are all busy. Add to it – screens, we have the recipe of disaster,

We all know we are losing time with screens. What we are missing is just the realization that if we loose time, we are loosing everything with it. A lot is already lost, infact. A little is left , which can be saved.

Do we have time for it ?

2

The subtle violence of Questions ?

It’s a question.

What happens inside of me when I am asked a question ?

What happens inside of you when you are asking someone a question ?

Common belief is that questions are means to understand things better. Questions are celebrated part of enquiry, of curiosity, of learning. It seems to be true in case of things that have a definitive answer, an objective answer. Where is Kalpatru Joseh’s house ? is a different question. But what if someone asks – What kind of a person is Kalpatru Joseh ? Further what is someone asks Kalpatru Joseh herself, “What are you planning to do with your life ?” .

So, here is what I submit to you for consideration, Every question that has a non-objective answer emanates from violence in the questioner and will induce a certain truama in the questioned.

As education took over, knowledge gained the highest position in intellectual domain and fearful human beings wished to escape the fear of unknown, questions have gained an unusually powerful position and not answering them seems not an option. To not answer is rude, to not answer labels as you as “ignorant”, to not answer passes a judgment that you don’t want to engage.

I’ve been asked so many questions , so many times, by so many people and all I wanted to respond was – I don’t want to answer ! I don’t know the answer ! I don’t even want to know the answer ! Yet, I ended up giving them answer , that even won an applaud. I am sure this has happened to you too.

Have you ever wondered , what is a question ? when does the need arises to ask a question ? We are not talking of questions of science, mathematics or any other objective reality. We’ve already established a place for such questions. But in life, which is often largely subjective, what is the role of questions ?

Imagine two absolutely happy , peaceful soul. What question will they ask each other ? Will they even ask ?

Perhaps, we ask question when we are not at peace otherwise we simply remain silent and many times in that process, we become the answer.

I’ve felt quite bedazzled when someone asked me “What do you do ? ” because I don’t have an answer like I am a postman delivering post. In a world where a lot of us are chosing to walk out of mainstream definition of work and job, you’d have felt the predicament of answering such a question. It’s not that answer is complicated , it’s not that I don’t have an answer, its just that I don’t want to answer that question but when someone asks, especially an elder or someone with authority, you are supposed to answer.

It became more evident to me after I became a father. I realized how often others, and even I, ask children questions that they don’t want to answer but don’t have the option to refuse. “Who do you love more – mom or dad?” “Which fruit do you like more – mango or guava?” “Why are you crying?” “Why are you so cranky today?” The list is long.

Once a friend came to our farm , he asked my 4 yr old son, What life you like more – farm life or city life ? Now, imagine for a child whom that distinction doesn’t even exist, what would this question do to him ? It will force him to think in the same fragmented style, it will slowly overtime mold the child into our ways of thinking and approaching life. Isn’t this violence to some degree at least ?

Questioning involves violence but is often disguised by other positive emotions and thoughts. Did I raise a question in your mind ? I wonder how violent was I ?

1

Realization of The fallacy of “alternative” !

Just like many, I also have had the opportunity to walk a diverse set of experiences in life. To use the popular vocabulary, I was into “mainstream” when I did my engineering, MBA and worked with some of the biggest and best MNCs in my domain. I saw the glamour and comfort and the highs of being in mainstream. Later, I was tagged as “walk out” , drop out, escaper of rat race when I quit my job to pursue a passion, I didn’t have !

Thus, slowly I learnt that I am now in something called “alternative” side of the world. I was considered different and people had expectations of me having a different behavior, lifestyle and world view. Slowly, as I moved deeper into the tunnel, to be labelled “radical” / ” rebel” when I challenged the regular norms of alternative movement itself. This was when we started natural farming at Madman’s farm with very high morals and values. (some of which we dropped on the way, some we continue to hold on to).

This morning, as I write this blog, I may be perhaps labelled a “walk out returnee” as I sit in the capital city inside a concrete house and planning my next move with Artificial Intelligence.

Interesting journey indeed and I am so deeply grateful to every single friend who was part of it. I feel so loved by life and people who’ve met me in this journey.

After setting the context let me come back to the title of this blog and the realization I wish to share. I feel during this journey nothing has hurt me more than this fragmentation of life and world into different compartments – mainstream, alternative, spiritual, materialistic, radical, mundane etc.

While the compartmentalization started very subtly and appeared innocent, it soon became a religion. I was now taking pride is being an alternative guy and looking down upon the people stuck in rat race or so called ‘ mainstream ‘. I was now discriminating in my actions, in my choices and my compassion ! My language was now centered around “they” ! They are killing the planet, they don’t want education to change, they don’t care about masses, they are conspiring against humanity – so on and so forth.

Frankly, today as I sit calmly and write this – I can see that life is a continuum. World is one. All the divisions are illusory and unreal. The differences , the fragmentations are mental constructs and may have a utility in some space, time and action but from life’s perspective, from nature’s eye – it’s all one.

It brings peace unto our hearts if we do not cater to artificial mental categories – which are on the rise in every domain of life in modern world. (Everyday, we are inventing new categories to divide ourselves – the materialist, the capitalist, the Hinduist, the vegan, the bisexual, the introvert, the intelligent, the dumb – so on and so forth. ) It is our mind that is programmed to learn about world through categorization and it does have a limited role and utility. Any kind of fragmentation will eventually become ‘religion’ and thus fundamentalism will be inevitable. But living occurs not in mind but in experience and experience is holistic and so is life !

Thus, moving ahead – I am trying to dissolve as many partitions I can, inside of me and meet every person as “human” , an extended part of me, who is an integral part of the whole.

0

Why am I confused ?

I’ve been confused all my life and I’ve met confused people all my life. Frankly, if I try to remember even one person who was not confused, I get confused. What is the reason that we all so confused? Confused about life choices, confused about career, confused about relationships, confused about God and confused about what to eat or wear for supper!  

What is confusion? – Confusion is defined by Oxford learning dictionary as “a state of not being certain about what is happening, what you should do, what something means, etc.”, the “etc.” in their definition hints about their own confusion while defining confusion. Webster seems to be a lot more confused about it, as it defines confusion as “state of being confused” and then if you search “confused” ,it defines it as “being perplexed or disconcerted” and then you search “perplexed” ,  you come to “ state of being uncertain and a state of difficulty.”

In other words, confusion is a state that lacks clarity. To bring in another perspective lets look at confusion from an Indic perspective. The closest word for confusion in hindi / Sanskrit is “ Bhram” or  भ्रमः and it is defined simply as “ believing in false to be true !”  The overused example is that of mistaking a rope to be a snake in night. It’s a bhram of rope being snake. This bhram will then lead you to act in ways which are irrational and bizarre. Your mind will start imagining things, you will plan out a rescue plan or start looking out for a stick or start screaming …The only way out of Bhram is to see the truth as it is.

If we connect the two , it turns out that all our confusion are result of believing the false to be true.

What is false and what is true ? Fundamentally, as Shri Adi Shankaracharya declared ब्रह्म सत्यं जगत मिथ्या , or this entire world is nothing but a falsity and God alone is the truth.

If this world is false/maya, being confused is only then a natural outcome.  This perhaps, clarifies that why we are all so confused because frankly as you read this , your mind would be arguing that “ what kind of theory is this – world is unreal ! I know it for sure, its real. “ 

Further, if God alone is truth – how do we get out of falsity and thus get out of confusion ? Ancient scriptures have time and again declared that “अहं ब्रह्मास्मि” or I am the God, or God resides in each one of us.

Thus,  the obvious way out of confusion is to know oneself, to connect with oneself, to dive deep into the God within us.

No wonder, the least confused people we come across are the people who know themselves well or are deeply connected to their own self.

When we try to resolve confusion by any other tool or method, we will never be able to reach far because we may still be working in the domain of falsehood, maya. Our confusion is just a reflection of our disconnection with the God within, with the source within.

The more we situate ourselves in the God, the more we free ourselves from the confusion. Lesser confusion implies more celebration and meaning to life. Adhyatm (True Spirituality) is one way to connect to ourselves, to the the God within. Thus, unless we become deeply spiritual in true sense, we will be confused.

But then is there God ? Who is God ? Where is God ? Where is God inside of me ? Why don’t I see God ? Is it all a theory  ? May be it’s just a belief system ?

Aggrrrhhhh…..no not again ! 😉

0

Hand Pumps and Heart doesn’t ….

We were travelling from my mother’s village to my father’s village, which is just 60km away from our farm for some religious meeting. It is getting hot in here as April approaches and we forgot to fill our water bottle. 20KM on the road, my elder son, 5yo Devagya, says – ” Dauaa (that’s what he calls me), pyas lagi ! ” (Father, i am thirsty). Thanks to Vindhyas on the north and Maa Narmada on the south, this area still has decent water table and most villages have operational handpumps with clean tasty portable water. Even if its not very pure, we prefer it anyday over the bottled water.

” Just look around Deva, we might see a handpump soon, and i will park the car by the side while you can go and drink water and also fetch it in this bottle for us.” , I told him in confidence.

Devagya is keenly looking outside the car window in search of a handpump that can quench his summer thirst. He gets little restless as every village passes. Finally, I spot a handpump and a small group of people around it , some drinking water , some perhaps waiting for the bus or a friend, some simply chewing tobacco – the favorite pastime of this area.

I park the car a little ahead of the handpump and give the bottle to Deva and tell him ” Ja , pee lena aur bhar ke le aana ! ” (Go, drink water and also get his bottle filled.) Handpumps are little tough to operatate for a 5 year old especially if not maintained well, which is often the case. He looks at the me with little surprise, ” How will I fill the bottle ? ” .

Ofcourse, you ideally would need someone running the hand pump while the other one fills the bottle. He was worried, how can he do the work of two ? How would he be able to drink water himself unless someone is operating the pump ? He could he my seat belts were on, so he knew that I am not coming out of the car.

I in all my confidence told him , and frankly I told him because I really meant it – ” Tum bus jao, bottle pakad ke handpump ke pass khade ho jana aur dekhna tumhari bottle bhar jayegi ! ” . (Just go and stand at the handpump and your bottle will be filled.)

I’ve always believed people are kind and loving. I have also experienced it. So, my faith is strong that when anyone will see a 5 year old boy next to a handpump with a bottle in hand , out of half a dozen people around the handpump, someone will definitely come forward and help the little boy. I , therefore, need not get out of the car.

I transferred the same faith on to him with more assurance, ” Beta, just go, someone will definitely help you …..you don’t even have to ask for help…” . Just like how every child has a trusting quality , Devagya , looked at me , trusted in what I said and went to the handpump.

Few minutes passed, he did not return. I waited few more when my wife said, Go, you only have to help him – no one is moving. I was surprised. This shouldn’t happen and doesn’t usually happen. Not at least in this part of the country where most people are still not so modern, not so educated and not so self-centered.

I looked out of the car window, I saw the boy standing with empty bottle in hand just next to the handpump, looking at the elders around as the elders also look at the child whenever they got time to go off their screen. A minute later, seeing that noone is coming forward to help – he put the bottle in front and ran back to operating handle – trying to fill the bottle all by himself.

I quickly came out of the car, and ran to the handpump and started operating it and filling his water bottle. He looked up and smiled so broadly.

“Aap bole the , jaoge aur bottle bhar jayegi…” (you said just go and water bottle will be filled…!?) he questioned me.

I lied to him and said, ” Yes, beta, I planned to quickly come out of car and surprise you by filling your water bottle…” See, didn’t it get filled ? Deva Nodded, a Yes. We both came back to the car and drank the sweet water and moved ahead….

As I drove, I wondered – what world am I gonna leave my child into ? Why no one helped the child ? May be another few minutes, someone would have helped the child ? May be they thought, he didn’t need water ? May be they saw the car and thought, some adult may also come …? So many may bes….

Amongst these may bes , my heart grew heavy…i was sad. I looked at the child and then remembered the entire scene of adults around….where is the love, care and sensitivity disappearing ? This feeling, this concern felt so real, even though it may not be directly applicable to his incident…..

Devagya , the handpump, the bottle and the people around…..