I owe an explaination for non-updates on timeline, on our blogpost, emails, newsletter, discouraging visits since Jan this year.
The reason for all of it has been my disappointment with how things were going. When I started this journey , i had an idea in my mind – an imagination of how life here would be, how things will evolve and where the madman’s farm will be in 3-4 years ! That was my mistake ! Life is unpredictable, doesn’t run on our whims and fancies !
I was imagining – how things should be and naturally things were the way they were ! It took my sometime to realize, accept that “which is” ! Initial disappointment has now replaced acceptance and celebration of what is.
To be specific, things didn’t evolve the way I had imagined –
1.) I had imagined I’ll have a food forest ready by 3 years eating various fruits like papaya, banana from our own farm. We will be growing lot of vegetables and become self – sufficient in food.
What happened was, i still don’t have any fruit tree fruiting, 3-4 vegetables growing. We are almost self sufficient in grains and cereals but still need to work on productivity and quality.
2.) I had imagined community will evolve, with Shantanu moving in with family – i was hoping more people will get associated and slowly a vibrant community will evolve.
What happened was, we are still almost alone – community aspect is almost absent. Infact, we have failed to maintain synergy even within 3 families at farm.
3.) I had imagined, our work will be appreciated by villagers and soon a small social change movement will begin. We will have healthy relationships with nearby villages.
What happened was, we are still seen as outsiders. We do have few good friends from near by villages but many still see us with negative emotions..
4.) I will be self sufficient financially and will be able to contribute to others in need of money.
What happened was, even after 3 years my expenses are not met entirely by farming activities. Though we are getting there. I still need to borrow money at times.
5.) I will have lot of time to meditate and my inner journey will accelerate like never before and I might almost become enlightened in few years !
What happened was, I am still almost the same person.But whatever little changes that have come in my are significant and deep.
6) A lot of wonderful visitors will come and we will be making lot of new good friends.
What happened was, limited visitors came and some of those who came were quite difficult to deal with. Some brought us negative image in front of villagers. Only handful of those are now in touch with us.
Last winter gathering was the trigger point for all of this ! The gathering had to be disturbed before the last day due to some conflicts within the group. This led me to retreat back and reflect on what is happening.
Nevertheless, I am now in terms with “what is” and the energies are back again ! Moving forward, some things will change which are all for good , I believe.
I personally would like to pay my heartfelt thanks to each and everyone associated with the farm, everyone who has visited us, was part of our gatherings and has been in touch with us over internet. Your contributions are what making me grow…Thank you !
6 thoughts on “What took me so long….”
You are not alone. 3 years back I started farming with same dream as yours, imagining all wonderfully things. There was some disappointment initially, self-doubt as well when things didn’t go my way….but now I have better understanding of things. I now live in acceptance that “nature” does not function according our plans and wishes. It has its own “all-inclusive intelligence” (better than our’s) & I am learning to “surrender” to it , enjoying the twists & turns of “life” and its equally exciting 🙂
Firstly brilliant idea for Madman’s farm ….keep at it…it will work!!!
You are not alone in this feeling. 3 years back I started farming with same dream as yours, imagining all wonderfully things. There was some disappointment initially, self-doubt as well when things didn’t go my way….but now I have better understanding of things. I now live in acceptance that “nature” does not function according our plans and wishes. It has its own “all-inclusive intelligence” (better than our’s) & I am learning to “surrender” to it , enjoying the twists & turns of “life” and its equally exciting 🙂
Thank you 🙂
A great and fantastic concept. I had started an eco friendly Tree House and mud house home stay right in the city of Bangalore to create a still Ness in total chaos called Bangalore.
As you said I am also going through all the ups and downs.
It’s great to know people like you exist and really excited with the same.
Keep Going, ultimately your passion drives you and everything falls in place
You can check in Google about aura Kalari and my website too http://www.aurakalari.in
Thank you Rajeev ! Checked your website, looks great 🙂
All the best…see ya someday.
I am reading this post three years after it was written and after visiting the place twice in the last six months. I love the honesty with which it was written.
So, three years later, the honesty of approach is still endearing and along with that the warmth of being welcomed with open arms.
On the subject of expectations and learnings, nature has always exposed the limitations of knowledge to me. Why am I not able to grow bananas on my farm??? Knowledge, logic, experience… couldn’t solve this problem. There were so many variables that it was impossible for the brain to comprehend all them, it left me baffled! Then on visiting Madmans farm I found the reason… I could easily guess the age of the four year old banana trees that had refused to grow just like the one’s on my farm. Jokes apart, it reminded me of Fukuokas words… All knowledge is worth nothing!
I want to end with my favourite quote… Life has the last laugh!
Wishing a wonderful journey and joyous association with all at farm