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What took me so long….

Dear friends,

I owe an explaination for non-updates on timeline, on our blogpost, emails, newsletter, discouraging visits since Jan this year.

The reason for all of it has been my disappointment with how things were going. When I started this journey , i had an idea in my mind – an imagination of how life here would be, how things will evolve and where the madman’s farm will be in 3-4 years ! That was my mistake ! Life is unpredictable, doesn’t run on our whims and fancies !

I was imagining – how things should be  and naturally things were the way they were ! It took my sometime to realize, accept that “which is” ! Initial disappointment has now replaced acceptance and celebration of what is.

To be specific, things didn’t evolve the way I had imagined –

1.) I had imagined I’ll have a food forest ready by 3 years eating various fruits like papaya, banana from our own farm. We will be growing lot of vegetables and become self – sufficient in food.

What happened was, i still don’t have any fruit tree fruiting, 3-4 vegetables growing. We are almost self sufficient in grains and cereals but still need to work on productivity and quality.

2.) I had imagined community will evolve, with Shantanu moving in with family – i was hoping more people will get associated and slowly a vibrant community will evolve.

What happened was, we are still almost alone – community aspect is almost absent. Infact, we have failed to maintain synergy even within 3 families at farm.

3.) I had imagined, our work will be appreciated by villagers and soon a small social change movement will begin. We will have healthy relationships with nearby villages.

What happened was, we are still seen as outsiders. We do have few good friends from near by villages but many still see us with negative emotions..

4.) I will be self sufficient financially and will be able to contribute to others in need of money.

What happened was, even after 3 years my expenses are not met entirely by farming activities. Though we are getting there. I still  need to borrow money at times. 

5.) I will have lot of time to meditate and my inner journey will accelerate like never before and I might almost become enlightened in few years !

What happened was, I am still almost the same person.But whatever little changes that have come in my are significant and deep.

6) A lot of wonderful visitors will come and we will be making lot of new good friends.

What happened was, limited visitors came and some of those who came were quite difficult to deal with. Some brought us negative image in front of villagers. Only handful of those are now in touch with us. 

 Last winter gathering was the trigger point for all of this ! The gathering had to be disturbed before the last day due to some conflicts within the group. This led me to retreat back and reflect on what is happening.

Nevertheless, I am now in terms with “what is”  and the energies are back again ! Moving forward, some things will change which are all for good , I believe.

I personally would like to pay my heartfelt thanks to each and everyone associated with the farm, everyone who has visited us, was part of our gatherings and has been in touch with us over internet. Your contributions are what making me grow…Thank you !

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Civilisation Why ?

In a R Tagore story, a married young woman finds herself getting attracted towards her husband’s brother, who’s teaching her music. Betrayal is the subject.

But betrayal appears in the dictionary of the civilised not the naturalists or the artistic type. “प्यार किया नही जाता, हो जाता है।” They say. Even the civilised would say the same, if the lady was not married.

The norms of civilisation don’t warrant a frown if she’s equally attracted or spends more time with another lady or an older person or a child or a pet or in the garden.

Children enter the world ignorant of these norms, but the natural instincts are preloaded. We educate them by introducing धर्म – अधर्म, a very tailored version of respect, patriotism and  a whole world of the constitutional framework of a civilised society.

Everything natural is acceptable, but within the confines of civilisation. We even teach them how to become insensitive to their natures.

They do the same to their children.

‘This education is important’, you’d say, right? Otherwise, there would by anarchy. Men wouldn’t coexist peacefully. If might is right, there would be rampant injustice.

Close your eyes for 30 seconds and think. Anarchy, war and injustice exist despite education. If you would agree with me, they exist because of this narrowedversion of education.

You agree with me? But putting it to action is very different. If you amend the education, you might have to accept betrayal as part of life, those who respect you may not, you may get stranded in the vacuum left by the outgoing societal order, you may not be able to cope with the empowerment. Also the scorn of people around you! Will you be able to bear it?

It may be better to disagree.

-Shantanu

(Posted from original Shantanu’s Blog http://factoryofmind.blogspot.in/ )